I discovered the term self-care while working on my master’s degree in Social Work. All the professors told us, be sure to practice self-care. I considered self-care an action-oriented practice, like running, hiking, happy hour, or something a bit deeper like seeing a therapist or journaling. I really did not understand the emphasis on self-care until I began working in the field of social work. I ignored the signs of burnout, pushed through pain, took on more, abandoned myself, and eventually crashed and burned. Through the process on picking myself back up, I had to unlearn patterns of behavior and conditioned reactions to get to a place where the mental noise was just a hum and MY internal voice could be heard. I have many techniques and tools I use to support my internal self-care and I would be happy to share those. The following are essential building blocks to consider with any self-care plan.
~ Dr. Tozi Gutierrez, LMSW – School of Social Work
Stage #1 – Accept
We ALL experience a version of burnout. It could feel like exhaustion, overwhelm, tired of being tired, on the edge, indifferent, and emotional. When I say emotional, this is not crying, but emoting frustration, anger, resentment, irritability, crankiness, and sarcasm, to name a few. The first step to self-care is ACCEPTANCE of this natural human phenomenon. If you are a human, you will face burnout, and this is not correlated with certain levels of intelligence, strength, endurance, or any other scientific analysis. We live in a stressful society where achievement, productivity, and accomplishment are rewarded enabling a culture of pushing through difficulties. It is okay to feel BURNED OUT, we faced two unprecedented events; a pandemic and the Texas Snowstorm that pushed all of us over the emotional edge. If you are unsure you are burning out, pay attention to what people around you are saying: Are you feeling okay? Are you sick? Do you need me to help you? Other people are the best mirrors for what we cannot see. Repeat after me, “I feel burned out and I need a break.”
Stage #2 – Allow
I am about to speak about something vulnerable and it will make people feel very uncomfortable. The second step to self-care is ALLOWANCE of what is. Simply allow yourself to feel. I say simply but it seems the human condition is afflicted with an aversion to feelings. Hence why we suffer from burn out, strung out, and wrung out. We have great strategies to avoid feeling the feels. For example, distraction by using tools like social media or television, or numbness by way of toxic substances or vices, and avoidance by doing things to keep us busy like workaholism. Many times, when we try to figure out why we are feeling a certain way, we look for the cause, the core issue, the culprit, so we can fix it. What I am suggesting is that we just feel it. We do not need to name it (I’m sad, I’m angry) or figure out why it is, just let it BE. When we allow our emotions to be, it works itself right through us rather quickly and we feel better. The longer, more treacherous path is distraction, numbing, and avoidance tactics because we just bury what is. Repeat after me: “Burying live feelings only makes them grow stronger.”
Stage #3 – Aware
Whether you believe in or are a cynic of mindfulness, the premise of mindfulness is being aware of the current state. The third step to self-care is AWARENESS of self. The practice of mindfulness is simply exploring techniques to support awareness of the current state (yoga, meditation, working out, breathwork, grounding, and other types of techniques bring the whole person into presence). Often, we hear the term practice of mindfulness because as human beings, we are socialized to think about past and future rather than present moment and it takes practice to attune to self-awareness. We are habit forming creatures, which is useful to manage the mundane, because we take in thousands of mental messages every minute through our five senses. What we do not want to make mundane are important things like relationships with other human beings, our emotions, and our responses. The practice of self-awareness supports living consciously to make informed decisions from a grounded place. Self-awareness paves the way to civilized conversation rather than emotional reactivity. Think about road rage. This is a perfect example of the totality of constant stress, burying emotions, and unconsciously reacting. Self-awareness is the act of taking personal responsibility. Repeat after me: “I am responsible for what I perceive and believe to be true.”
Stage #4 – Boundaries
If you recall studying the stages of human development, you may faintly remember reading about toddlers exploring independence or autonomy. Boundaries are created for us by caregivers and expand or contract (push boundaries) as we move into other phases of development. Take a moment and pay attention to the world. You will find boundary setting everywhere (borders, policies, laws, regulations, beliefs, etc.). We are experienced with boundaries being set for us but tend to be inept at setting our own boundaries. The fourth step to self-care is setting clear and healthy BOUNDARIES for yourself. If something does not feel good to your BEING — meaning your heart, your physical body, your spirit, your emotional body, your energy body — you have the right to step away from it. Setting boundaries means saying NO, not right now, I am not interested, not at this time, this does not work for me, etc. Boundaries come from the internal voice inside of you and not from your head. Your BEING knows when something does not feel right, it sounds off an alarm for you. Something like a stomach pang, or sweaty palms, or a red-hot face, or a racing heart, or a debate in your mind. If you abandon your internal voice and bypass a boundary, typically you feel resentful or frustrated. Think about the horror stories of Thanksgiving with family, why do we engage in this tradition if it does not nurture us? By setting our own personal boundaries we create the safe protective space we all need to renew, reset, and restore ourselves. Repeat after me: “Setting personal boundaries is not selfish, it is an act of selfless devotion”.
Thanks for sharing this! All the best!
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Burnout Does Not Happen Overnight
Burnout is a process; it does not happen overnight. Five stages of burnout include: dissatisfaction, disregard, numbing, exhaustion, and full-blown trauma (Big Self School https://rb.gy/lwhbbc). Thus, it is important to be aware of these stages and how they manifest. Guthrie and colleagues define burnout as the “state of fatigue and frustration arising from unrealistic, excessive demands on personal resources leading to physical and mental exhaustion” (Guthrie, et al., 2005, p. 111). Faculty may suffer from burnout caused by student volume, seemingly endless emails, voicemails, meetings, paperwork, overflow of program and department meetings, and work load connected to teaching, research and service responsibilities.
My recommendations on what to do to combat burnout include strategies connected to self-care that emphasize listening to your mind and body. For example, take active breaks and go for a walk or engage in exercise or physical activity. Take a nap to recharge; it should not be longer than 40 minutes. Some people find transcendental meditation more effective than an actual nap. Engage in a fun activity such as watching a favorite movie or show, playing with your child and pets. Avoid consuming excessive amounts of caffeine and alcohol; they affect the nervous system and can be addictive. Instead, eat a healthy delicious meal or have your favorite dessert. Most important of all, identify the fun aspects of your job and focus on those for a while and work away from your desk or computer whenever possible. Also, do your best to prioritize tasks as to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Eat the elephant one bite at a time.
Reference cited: Guthrie, V. L., Woods, E., Cusker, C., & Gregory, M. (2005). A portrait of balance: Personal and professional balance among student affairs educators. The College Student Affairs Journal, 24(2), 110–127.
Very helpful, especially in these times of crises that can be so overwhelming. Thank you, Dr. Gutierrez!
I have found it useful to work shifts that get me through the 8 hours, like a split shift or a late shift. I’m naturally a night owl anyway, so this has really worked well for me. The Library has also held late night study sessions with FirstGen students, and that has been lots of fun to do. We hold a 2 hour session, with four 25 minute and four 5 minute session slots. The two hours fly by, we gt lots of work done, and have great conversations.